


Vulnerability

by youcouldmakealife



Series: Impaired Judgment (and other excuses) [30]
Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 21:19:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14777429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youcouldmakealife/pseuds/youcouldmakealife
Summary: “Oh my god, Jared, I’m not saying I’m not gay,” Bryce blurts out, then gets like — quiet. Like, with his entire body, not just his mouth. Jared doesn’t know how to explain it.





	Vulnerability

Ten days is too fucking long to go without seeing your boyfriend, and the end result of that is that basically the second you walk into his condo, you get jumped. 

Jared’s not like, complaining. Well, about the ten days he is. Not so much complaining about getting greeted with a hand down his pants, obviously.

They get off embarrassingly quickly, but in Jared’s defence, it’s been almost two weeks, and a lot of jerking off. A lot of ideas that came from that jerking off too, though he doesn’t implement any of them, at least during round one, which is about as simple as it comes, hand around Bryce’s dick, Bryce’s hand rough on his, not quite in rhythm, muffling any sound he might make against the plush of Bryce’s mouth.

They don’t make it to the bed, or like, even get their clothes off until after. It’s kind of weird to undress and crawl into bed when the sex has already happened, but Jared’s feeling touch starved, that feeling apparently more than mutual, and the lazing around in bed, legs tangled together, is almost better than the sex. Almost. Jared will probably change his mind about that right as soon as his refractory period ends. 

Bryce orders dinner on his phone, Jared looking over his shoulder at the options while pressing lazy kisses to his neck until Bryce’s shoulders come up to his ears with a squeaky ‘stop distracting me’ that succeeds in getting Jared to stop only because now he’s laughing too hard to do anything else.

“I’m not going to order anything for you,” Bryce says, turning to scowl at him as Jared sheds actual tears into the sheets, but Jared doesn’t believe him at all. Bryce is kind of a soft touch.

Bryce only gets dressed when the buzzer goes, comes back into his room with cartons of food, Jared’s shirt clinging tightly to his chest. Jared would be more annoyed that apparently Bryce could like, flex through Jared’s clothes, if he didn’t look so good in them.

“You’re wearing my shirt,” Jared says.

“Shit, sorry,” Bryce says.

“We’re cool if you take it off and come back to bed,” Jared says, because yeah, he looks good in Jared’s shirt, but Jared’s biased towards him shirtless, and Bryce snorts but does. Jared’s not dissing the first picnic they had or anything, but naked in bed picnics are officially where it’s at, and he’s never going back.

After dinner there’s _more_ — well, it’s cuddling, Jared’s not going to call it anything else, because that would be a lie. Is it perhaps unmanly or some shit to be this into cuddling? Maybe. Does he care? Nope.

Jared’s full, and warm, and vaguely horny still, especially because Bryce keeps tracing his fingers down his spine like he wants to start something, but the vaguely horny gets overridden by the lazy warmth of everything. He doesn’t even realise he’s fallen into a doze until Bryce is shaking his shoulder a little, pressed against his back now. Jared doesn’t remember him moving, so that’s a definite sign he’s fallen asleep.

“Mm?” Jared says.

“You’ve gotta head out in about an hour,” Bryce says.

“So?” Jared says, frowning when Bryce pulls away from him, his back suddenly cold.

“Wanna nap more, or want a blowjob before you go?” Bryce asks, and Jared stops frowning, because yeah, good point. Great priorities. So smart, that Bryce Marcus.

“Thought so,” Bryce says, all cocky, before Jared can even answer him, and Jared could call him on assuming shit, but like, if that gets in the way of Bryce sucking his dick, he thinks he’s capable of holding his tongue.

Bryce, as usual, takes him apart with seeming effortlessness that comes from practice and dedication. _Dedication to my dick,_ Jared thinks a little hysterically while he tries to get his brain back online. 

“Gimme…minute,” Jared says to the ceiling.

“I can give you two,” Bryce generously offers, and Jared clumsily pats his head.

Jared’s not like, nervous going about blowing Bryce or anything, he likes it, Bryce likes it, but he knows he’s not the dick sucking prodigy that Bryce apparently very much is. Jared’s not competitive — okay, that’s such a lie he can’t let it slide even in his own head. Jared’s competitive, and he’s absolutely one-hundred percent not complaining about how fucking boss Bryce is at giving head, and Bryce is vocally appreciative the second Jared gets his mouth on him, he’s not worried he sucks or anything (hah), but he kind of wants to rock Bryce’s fucking world.

Plus, Jared’s had, like. Thoughts. Ideas, even. Look, you go ten days with just your hand — well, you start thinking about someone else’s. And his mouth. And his dick. And also the most amazing ass Jared has ever seen in person. Maybe ever, period. Jared’s not blinded by love either: Bryce’s ass is a work of art, and Jared feels it deserves more attention than he’s given it.

Jared pulls off, because it’s probably polite to ask before you embark on making thoughts reality, and also lube’s a thing that needs to be involved if it’s going to happen. Shit, he doesn’t even know if Bryce _has_ lube. Lotion? There’s definitely lotion around, and that’s probably okay for a finger or two, though lube’s a necessity if they’re going to — getting ahead of yourself, Matheson. They don’t have time for that even if Bryce was up for it, and that’s probably something to work up to anyway. So. First thing’s first:

“Hey,” Jared says. “Can I like, finger you?”

He didn’t anticipate a particular response, exactly? A yes or a no, pretty much. But he didn’t expect Bryce jerking away from him like Jared just asked to do something super weird. Like the kind of thing even incognito mode can’t scrub the shame from. Not that Jared’s speaking from experience or anything. 

“If you’re not into that, it’s totally cool,” Jared says quickly. Like, he’s disappointed, because Bryce’s _ass_ , but not everyone likes it, according to the internet. Like, _Jared_ does, the few tentative times he’s tried, shitty angle and inevitable wrist cramp aside, but nothing’s universal.

“It’s like,” Bryce says, then, to Jared’s complete incredulity, “Gay.”

Jared stares at him. “I just had your dick in my mouth,” Jared says. “You had _mine_ in yours, like ten whole minutes ago. That’s pretty gay, dude.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Bryce says.

“You’re not like—” Jared says. “You know having a boyfriend is also—”

“Oh my god, Jared, I’m not saying I’m not gay,” Bryce blurts out, then gets like — quiet. Like, with his entire body, not just his mouth. Jared doesn’t know how to explain it.

“You okay?” Jared asks, when the silence stretches.

“Fine,” Bryce says, but he doesn’t sound fine. Like, at all.

Jared sits up, because yeah, sex is completely off the table now. “Seriously,” he says. “What’s wrong?”

“I just like, haven’t said it, I dunno,” Bryce says.

“You told you mom about us, didn’t you?” Jared asks, because she definitely knows they’re not buddies. Well, he guesses Bryce is a buddy: Jared likes spending time with him even when they’re not doing, like, the sex and romance shit, so they’re probably buddies too. Not just buddies, then.

“Yeah,” Bryce says. “But I like, told her I had a boyfriend, not like—”

“That you were gay?” Jared guesses, when he doesn’t continue.

“Yeah,” Bryce mumbles.

“Are you?” Jared asks, and when Bryce blinks at him, “I mean, I know you’re into me, so obviously you’re not like, straight, but I don’t know if you like girls too or—”

“No,” Bryce says. “I’m. No, I don’t—fuck, this is stupid, why is this so fucking hard?”

“It’s okay,” Jared says, reaching out to touch Bryce’s arm, and trying — and failing — not to feel hurt when Bryce jerks away from his touch.

“It’s _not_ ,” Bryce says. “Who can’t even tell their fucking boyfriend they’re—” he cuts himself off then, like he can’t get the word out.

“Hey,” Jared says. “It’s not like — you don’t have to tell me.”

“You already _know_ ,” Bryce says.

“That still doesn’t mean you have to tell me,” Jared says. “I know it’s like, a big step.”

“Bigger than having a _boyfriend_?” Bryce asks.

“No,” Jared says. “But they’re not like, actually ranked or —”

“Bryce,” he says helplessly when Bryce curls into himself more.

“It’s so — I’m so fucking stupid,” Bryce says.

“Stop calling yourself stupid,” Jared says.

“You’ve called me stupid,” Bryce mumbles, and Jared’s stomach just — drops.

“Well I’m an asshole,” Jared says. “And you’re not, so like, don’t call yourself stupid. It’s not — this shit isn’t easy, Bryce, it’s not stupid if you’re not ready to say it.”

“You’re fine saying it,” Bryce says. 

“I mean, I’ve been out for over a year,” Jared says. “It didn’t come all at once or anything. I was freaking the fuck out before I told my parents. Like, had a legit panic attack in the bathroom freaking out.”

Bryce makes a doubtful noise.

“Seriously, it was actively awful,” Jared says. “My mom asked if I’d accidentally eaten shrimp or something, because apparently I looked like I had hives, and she was all set with the car keys to drive me to the walk in clinic when I told her I was like, fine, but also super gay. Kind of not how I wanted it to go.”

“You’re allergic to shrimp?” Bryce asks.

“Yeah,” Jared says. “Well, like, any shellfish.”

“I didn’t know that,” Bryce says.

“Now you do,” Jared says, “So like, for future reference: oysters are way more likely to give me hives than get me horny or whatever the hell they’re supposed to do.”

Bryce smiles a little. Like, barely a smile, but it’s better than nothing.

“You don’t just, like, snap your fingers and suddenly be totally cool with it, you know?” Jared says. “Or, I mean, maybe some people do, but I didn’t. It took time.”

“But you’re cool with it now,” Bryce says.

“Yeah,” Jared says, and he doesn’t even need to see Bryce’s face to know that ‘I’m not’ is written all over it. He already kind of knew that. “I mean, it’s not like — would things be easier if I was straight? Yeah, probably, but I’m not, and like — my parents are mostly okay with it, at least I think so, and no one I’ve come out to has been a dick or anything, and I’ve got an awesome boyfriend—”

An awesome boyfriend who he basically has a lapful of now, Bryce clinging to him almost painfully, fingers digging into Jared’s shoulders, breathing a little fast against Jared’s neck. Jared squeezes back, and it’s weird, because they’re naked, and plastered together, basically, but it’s not sexual? Or like, some part of Jared (one guess which) is insistently pointing out ‘naked! pressed together!’, but he’s ignoring it. Trying to ignore it. Mostly it feels, just — intimate, maybe, in a way even sex isn’t.

“I’m gay,” Bryce mumbles into Jared’s skin, like it’s the only place that’s safe enough to say it.

“Hey, me too,” Jared says. “What a coincidence.”

Bryce snorts a little wetly.

“You want to be gay together?” Jared says, then, considering how like, this whole thing started, “Shit, that’s not like — I didn’t mean, like, about the fingering, if that’s— I meant, like. Generally gay together. Like. Boyfriends. Which we are already, but, you know.”

He can feel Bryce smiling a little against his neck. “Yeah, sure,” he says. “I’ll be your boyfriend.”

“Cool,” Jared says, presses a kiss into Bryce’s hair. “And hey, I’m proud of you.”

“For what?” Bryce asks. “I can’t even—”

“You just did,” Jared says. “So stop arguing and let me be proud of you, Marcus.”

“…Kay,” Bryce says, then, “Your curfew—”

“I can stick around a little while longer,” Jared says, and he didn’t think Bryce could hold onto him any tighter, but he does.

*

Of course Jared gets home to both his parents sitting on the couch waiting up for him. Of course he does.

“I’m only a half hour late,” Jared says, before they can say anything.

“Curfew’s not negotiable,” his mom says. “We talked about this when you started dating Bryce.”

He doesn’t want, like — his relationship with Bryce is none of his parents’ business, beyond the things he thinks it’s fair for them to set, the whole no drinking and curfew and stuff — the curfew he just broke, but whatever. Bryce’s issues are definitely none of their business.

“He just — had a bad day,” Jared says. “I didn’t want to leave him alone until he was okay.”

“You can’t just skip curfew whenever you feel like it,” his dad snaps.

“Sorry I care about my boyfriend’s wellbeing more than curfew,” Jared snaps back.

“Phones exist, Jared,” his mom says. “If you knew you were going to be late, you could have let us know.”

_Sorry, both hands were busy clinging to my boyfriend naked in bed_ , is definitely, _definitely_ not the right answer.

“Sorry,” Jared mumbles instead, heading for the stairs. “I’ll let you know if it happens again.”

“It’s not happening again!” his dad calls after him. “And you’re grounded!”

“Don,” his mom says, so it doesn’t sound like they’re a united front on that.

“Let me know how long I’m grounded for tomorrow,” Jared says, hoping the answer will be ‘not’ after his mom gets to his dad. “I’m going to bed.”

_Feeling okay?_ , Jared texts Bryce as he changes into pyjamas.

_fine_ , Bryce says, but like, that doesn’t sound believable. Not enough emojis for Bryce actually to be fine.

“I just saw you,” Bryce says, when he picks up the phone.

“Yeah, well,” Jared says. “Too bad, you get more of me.”

“Oh no,” Bryce says. “Not more of you.”

“As much as you want,” Jared says. “And then, like, probably more than that.”

“Not possible,” Bryce murmurs.

There’s a knock twice on his door. “Get off your phone and go to bed,” his dad says. “Or I’m confiscating it.”

“Kay,” Jared says, and then totally doesn’t, just gets into bed and pulls the covers over his head to muffle the sound. “Seriously, you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Bryce says, and Jared’s still not quite sure he believes him. “I get you in trouble?”

“A little,” Jared says. “But like. That’s okay. Gotta keep them on their toes.”

Bryce snorts.

“I can hear you!” his dad says, right outside the door.

“That’s creepy!” Jared calls back, then, “Gotta go.”

_Still here though_ , Jared texts Bryce as soon as he gets off the phone, and even though he’s not really an emoji dude, he adds a smiley and a heart, ones Bryce serve right back at him.


End file.
